Dear George W. Bush,

Thanks for banning lighters from being taken onto an airline. Your post-9/11 agenda has just taken a turn for the unexpected. Not only can you get any information you want from us without going through a real court, you have now prevented travelers from firing up a doobie on the plane (or burning a stewardess with the incredible 2 inch flame). As a concerned citizen, I must congratulate you in your efforts to make even the simplest liberties very hard to do.

Sincerely,

Idiotic America